NMSU English Department

English 111 G/H Rhetoric and Composition
Essay 1
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E1 | E2 | E3 | E4 | E5


See an example Essay 1

E1: A critique of self

Through reading essays by Shelby Steele, Susan Douglas, Julia Penelope, and Richard Rodriguez, we have been exploring the relationship between society and the individual. In your essay, you will identify the forces that influence you and discuss how. You will consider how much control you have over your identity.

This essay will build on the analytical and argumentative skills you have been developing while discussing the readings and writing learning log assignments. Writing summaries and discussing important themes in the readings will have made you aggressive, critical readers. You will have learned not just to read to comprehend as a believer, but also to question as a doubter, to analyze, and to apply the ideas in the readings, both in the context of school and your own lives. Use those same critical thinking skills to analyze your own experiences through your writing.

Writing this essay will also teach you several important things that you’ll use throughout this class:

    • the drafting and revising process
    • creating a thesis/enthymeme and structuring an argument
    • providing supporting evidence
    • creating paragraphs and the general structure of an essay
    • performing research and analysis

 

Your thesis statement should be an enthymeme, a claim with a "because" clause, that states what you have learned about yourself through your analysis. Here’s an example:

    I am competitive because having five brothers made me have to fight for what I wanted, whether it was a place at the table or recognition as an individual.

It can be difficult to construct an essay that can stand on its own and make sense to an audience that does not have you there to explain, clarify, or develop your ideas. Details and specific examples will help. Your peers will help you see places where they needed detail or explanations in your essay.

Answer these questions first:

    • Who am I, what are my characteristics, and how have I become that person?
    • What forces help determine how I act and think in various situations?
    • How do I know this? Where in my life do I see these forces at work?

Then forecast the significance of your analysis:

    • How can I modify my thoughts and behaviors to become more of what I want to be?
    • How can I continue to develop according to my plans and goals?

You will do a great deal of writing and reflecting, but in the final essay you submit, you need to emphasize how you have been influenced by the social force you have identified. You will need to analyze the influence that had a part in creating or "constructing" you. Then you will need to consider whether you are controlling the influence you’ve specified and acting as a self-aware person who can make certain choices about how you will conduct your life. If you conclude that you’re not controlling it, suggest some ways that might allow you to be able to do so in the future. Steele’s "The Recomposed Self" provides an example of how to complete an analysis of a force shaping a person’s view of himself and of his actions. The structure and organization of Steele’s essay also serves as a model for this kind of writing. Consider also how Rodriguez made himself into a super student only to find, after extensive reflection, that he had gained that identity only through losing his family. He realized that he wanted his family and himself, and he had to change course to get that.

The readings discuss many influences that work to shape human lives. Consider those readings and do some of the same work that those writers do. Some sources of influence in the readings that you might explore include

    • family history and culture (as Rodriguez wrote about)
    • media, gender, and physical appearance (as in Douglas’ essay)
    • social and economic class, race and ethnicity (see Rodriguez and Steele)
    • language (see Penelope).

You will discover other sources of influence as you work through the prewriting assignments for this essay. Remember to focus on yourself; this is not an essay on the most significant person in your life.

The purpose of the essay is for you to both reveal and analyze. Be careful not to make yourself sound like a stereotype or parody of who you truly are. Recognize the complexity of being a human being with real and perceived vulnerabilities. Contemporary American culture has a tendency to reveal more than analyze. Consider television talk shows you have watched or heard about. Often the emphasis of such shows is on revealing secrets but not on how to deal with the effects of those secrets. American society sometimes seems fascinated with the concept of dysfunction, acting as if just recognizing that an influence is at work—no matter how important—is enough.

We do need to understand that certain aspects of our lives in society have had an overwhelming influence, but recognition alone is not enough. Analysis and conscious corrective behavior are the keys to success and feeling good about how you live and think, as the course readings have suggested.

Use anecdotal evidence to illustrate the influence you will be analyzing. Complete the assignments described next to help you think. We will discuss strategies for organizing the essay as we work. The readings serve not only as examples of analysis but also of presentation. We will consider their structure closely.

E1 due date: ___/___ Length: 3-5 pages.

 

Prewriting assignments

Assignment #1: Exploratory writing
These exercises will help you determine the extent to which various forces--common in American society--influence your life and your idea of self. They will help you uncover the social constructions that you apply and which are applied to you. Work through the list and consider how the factors mentioned affect the areas of your life that you are examining.

Create lists of people, places, and concepts that have had significant influence in your life. Here are some suggested categories to use to generate material for analysis:

People Places Concepts

family home faith and religious beliefs

loved ones special rooms ethics and morality

friends work places goals and desires

teachers school responsibilities and loyalties

groups nature gender and ethnicity

heroes hideaways history and culture

When working through these lists, use an identify-explore-evaluate procedure. First, identify the person, place, or concept that had an influence on you. Second, explore that influence. Use freewriting and brainstorming to generate lots of information about the source and its influence. Uncover information about how, specifically, the influence shows up in your life. Third, evaluate the influence. Write a brief paragraph that reflects on what you learned through your exploration and evaluates the influence, whether good or bad. In other words, move toward being able to name and discuss the influence to other people in a way that makes sense.

Here is another list that you can explore through freewriting and brainstorming. Consider the previous prewriting activity and name all the shoulds, coulds, and woulds you can think of.

  • Shoulds: How you feel you must act or things you feel you must do
  • Coulds: The possibilities—what you might do
  • Woulds: What you’d do differently if you had things to do over

The purpose of this exploratory writing is to help you generate information that you can reflect upon as you work through the critique of self. Don’t worry about writing complete sentences or using everything in your essay. Capture the ideas first. Do you have to write on all of them? No. You may already know how much a certain area affects you. Do a thorough job of examining that area. It’s more helpful for you to have a deep understanding about a few areas than lots of shallow information about all of them. Be sure to move on to analysis.

Hand in your exploratory writing on ___/___.

Assignment #2: Cinema-acceptance speech
Use this exercise to place yourself in the future and imagine yourself winning an award. It can be anything from a Nobel Prize to an Academy Award. Review your accomplishments. Thank those who deserve to be thanked. Explain your contribution and why it was significant. Feel free to create your own award. A writer once gave herself the "Best at Being Me Award." She learned a great deal as she tried to explain just who she was and why she was important.

Assignment #2 due date: ___/___

Assignment #3: Reminiscence—time warp
Take yourself back to a significant event in your life, especially one that you wish had turned out differently. While doing this, remember to identify, explore, and evaluate, using this significant event as your focus. Think of an event in your life that is significant because it shaped the way you reacted to subsequent events. Do the events now show you how what you saw and felt was influenced by social construction? Describe the event in detail. Consider your motives and the motives of others involved. When you evaluate the event, look at it from two angles. First, what would you have liked to have done differently and why? Speculate about how your life would be different if the scenario turned out as you wished. Second, consider the long-term influence this event had on your life. How has it directed your life? Understanding this influence opens the opportunity for change. How do you plan to act differently to avoid repeating the same dissatisfying incident?

Assignment #3 due date: ___/___

Assignment #4: Retrospective
A retrospective is a type of remembrance, a tribute to someone who has a significant impact in various ways. This exercise asks you to write a "retrospective" for yourself. Follow the pattern for exploratory writing: identify, explore, and evaluate. Take yourself through your entire life as you would like it to be. What were your major accomplishments? Where did you live? Did you have a family? Imagine this ideal life. As part of the exploration, write your retrospective. What would you like said about yourself and the life you led? In your evaluation, consider what you must do to merit the kinds of words you have written about yourself.

Assignment #4 due date: ___/___

 

Evaluation criteria
Use the following questions about the main elements of an essay to analyze the strengths and weaknesses of your essay. Use these questions when reading each others’ essays for peer critiquing. Your instructor will be using these criteria when evaluating your essay.

Description and discussion of self

  • How well does the writer discuss an influence that has shaped his or her life?
  • Where and how does the writer analyze and critique those influences?
  • Does the essay have a clear thesis/enthymeme? Locate it and evaluate it.
  • How well does the organization support the thesis/enthymeme and the essay assignment?
  • Where does the writer need to include more examples/anecdotes to support the thesis/enthymeme?

Writing process
Your instructor will also look at your writing process to see whether

  • invention strategies are evident through E1 assignments
  • multiple drafts demonstrate development of essay
  • revision is based on peer and instructor response
  • essay has been edited and proofread

General characteristics of effective essays
Evaluate your essay against the course goals for English 111. An effective essay will demonstrate these characteristics.

Critical thinking: Essay demonstrates control over conceiving and defending a statement about a topic, including defining and limiting a topic. Makes a clear and arguable statement about topic, developing statements logically and adequately. Recognizes complications or alternative viewpoints. Paragraphs are sequenced and clearly developed.

Argument, structure, and development: Essay makes an argument to an audience. Essay is structured around a controlling idea or thesis statement. Evidence illustrates or argues the controlling idea. Evidence is appropriate to topic and purpose. Evidence is sufficient. Audience is defined implicitly or explicitly and accommodated through essay. Whole paper structure supports controlling idea.

Standard edited English awareness: Language use contributes to success of essay. Vocabulary and syntax are appropriate to purpose and occasion. Sentences vary to reinforce logic of essay. Essay demonstrates understanding of standard English conventions, including sentence boundaries and completeness, concord, appropriate modification, and mechanics, including spelling, punctuation, and manuscript conventions.

Copyright 1997 Department of English
New Mexico State University
Use only with permission

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