Roommates

The Department of Housing and Residential Life recognizes that one main fears students have about living in the residence halls is living with a roommate. Expectations that you're going to make a life-long friend are just as common as fears that you may not get along. Unless you are part of a living learning community in Garica Hall, the Department of Housing and Residential Life bases roommate assignments on three very basic factors: gender, hall preference and smoking preference. We find that this works better in terms of less roommate conflict than in previous years when we based roommate assignments on factors like music preference, ouside interests, etc.

If you've picked a roommate that you already know, chances are living together will bring a whole new dimension to your friendship. Thoughts or comments like "Geeezz, I didn't know you snored so loud?" or "Have you always been a compulsive cleaner?!" may become common as your relationship as roommates progresses. Although it is not discouraged, you may want to think carefully about rooming with your best friend from high school and consider being suitemates rather than roommates.

Resident's Bill of Rights
Each resident of campus housing has the following rights: The right to personal privacy in the room. The right to read and study without undue interference, unreasonable noise, and other distractions. The right to sleep without undue disturbances. The right to live in a clean environment. The right to have full access to his/her room and facilities. The right to host guests, under the provisions of the Residence Hall Lease Agreement, with the understanding that the guest will honor the other residents' rights. The right to redress of his/her grievances. The right to be free of physical or emotional harm. The right to enjoy safe and secure living areas that are kept safe and secure by student residents and University staff. The right to participate actively in hall/complex government.

Conflicts
Like all other relationships, getting along with your roommate is going to require patience, good communication and compromise. These can be difficult skills to master, especially if you've never had to live with someone before. The Department of Housing and Residential Life recognizes that this can be a little scary. Although moving often seems like the only solution to roommate conflicts, this isn't always the best solution. Our experience has been that the vast majority of roommate conflicts arises when the communication breaks down, or never really gets started. Since learning to communicate your feelings and ideas effectively and constructively is a valuable life skill, one that will help you later in other interpersonal relationships, we feel that it is important that you have the opportunity to practice working through this with your roommate. Consequently, when a roommate conflict arises, we prefer that you first contact your Resident Assistant who can help you with some basic mediation. If that doesn't alleviate the problem, contact your Hall Manager who will meet with you and your roommate to help facilitate discussion and reach resolution; or make a determination as to whether a move is necessary or appropriate to solve the problem. We expect you, as an adult, to make a sincere effort to work out roommate problems in an adult manner. Instances where it is evident or suspected that one person is deliberately making the relationship unworkable will subject that person to the discipline system.

Dealing with Roommates

Try to Deal with Issues, before they Become Problems

Take Steps to Deal with Conflict . . .

1. Communicate your expectations of the relationship. Complete a Roommate Agreement as

soon as you move in. Click Here to Download.

2. Confront the problem, not the person.

3. Deal with the issue immediately, don't let things build up.

4. Deal with the issue on a one-on-one basis. Don't involve friends, neighbors, parents, etc.

5. Speak to each other. Don't leave notes or send emails.

6. Express your feelings and needs in a non-blaming way.

7. Take ownership for your part of the problem.

8. Listen and seek to understand the other person's point of view before giving or defending

your own.

9. Do not rush in to solving someone else's problem; and to take time outs when needed.

10. Encourage different points of view, controversy, and honest dialogue--and then respect

those ideas.

11. Focus on what can be done, not what can't.

12. Make reasonable, realistic requests of one and other.

13. Solve the problem and strengthen your relationship.

14. Use objective criteria when making decisions.

15. If you have tried these steps and it still doesn't work. Meet with your RA.

Roomate Starter Kit
We suggest the following as topics of discussion for you and your roommate early in the semester:

Where is my roommate from?
What is he/she most looking forward to this year? Least looking forward to?
What does he/she like to do in his/her free time?
How are phone messages going to be handled?
What about neatness and cleanliness of the room? How much messiness is too much? What will we do if one of us does not equally share in the responsibility of cleaning the room/bathroom?
When is it okay to have guests of the same sex visit? What about guests of the opposite sex?
If one of us is gone for the weekend, is it okay to have someone stay over and sleep in our bed?
Under what conditions and at what time of the day or night do we each study best?
At what times of the day do we each function best?
How do pressure and stress affect each of us? How do we each react when we're "stressed out?"
What about borrowing/using each other's belongings?
What are our individual needs for privacy?
How will we handle payment on shared items like the refrigerator or toilet paper?
How much sleep do we each need? What can we each sleep through and what keeps us awake?
How will disagreements be handled?
How do we each react when we're angry?
In what ways are we alike? In what ways are we different? How will these similarities and differences impact on our relationship?
Do any of us have a health problem that the others may need to be aware of?
What are our individual thoughts and beliefs concerning the use of alcohol?
What part does religion or personal value systems play in each of our lives and what effect will this have on our living situation?